You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.

In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.

Whatever you fear most has no power - it is your fear that has the power.

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I've grown to realize the joy that comes from little victories is preferable to the fun that comes from ease and the pursuit of pleasure.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.

We think in generalities, but we live in detail.

I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.

That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.

I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we're allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.

Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.